Thinking about Mothers on Mothers Day

My Mother did not live much past 50, and here I am almost 70. She would have approved of most of the things I have been doing, but maybe not all, but that's OK and who knows, anyway.

Women's lives have changed since she raised us in the 40s and 50s, and I think she would be pleased to see it, too. We have a lot more freedom, a lot more choices, and more opportunities to pursue our dreams. But we are still restricted most of all by ourselves, by what we believe to be conventional thinking.  For example, since we had a lot of trouble having careers that were valued equally to men's careers, it is appalling to watch young women give up these careers that we couldn't really have in order to stay home and be super Moms. How strange that is. Clearly, if you never think about it, there is no way to appreciate what you have, you just take it for granted.

I don't take anything for granted. I grew up hating pink because it represented how girls could not do so many things. I grew up knowing that my athletic aspirations were limited. I grew up thinking that if I had sex, I was ruined forever. Thank goodness all these things have changed, for the better. I also wanted to be as good a mother as anyone could be, and I enjoyed it - but I was able to work through the time I had children, teaching at a college. I needed the exposure to other adults who had more on their minds than children, cooking, looking good for their man. I worried about schools and how my children were doing, but I also thought that letting my children play at what they wanted, without spending money on it, was the best thing I could do. I controlled the TV - it wasn't on much. I had a really good time with my children, and I still do, now that they are adults.

So, I wonder about my mother, and what she thought about the ways that life has changed for women, in the late 20th and early 21st century. I think she would be envious of the opportunities but so glad they happened. Don't we all hope our mothers would be proud of us? I am proud of my own children, and amazed at what great human beings they are. I hope on this Mothers' Day, 2011, that other mothers feel that way too.